Commitment Phobia
Commitment phobia is a form of anxiety disorder that is much more than just not wanting to settle down and get married. Although it is often associated with men who have apparently committed to being lifelong bachelors, the reality of commitment phobia goes much deeper.
As with all phobias, commitment phobia is a type of mental illness that is known as an anxiety disorder. Basically this means that the phobia exists in the sufferer's mind, where an unreasonable fear or fears causes an alarmingly high amount of anxiety. In fact, the anxiety is so uncomfortable that phobics tend to avoid whatever it is they fear.
Commitment phobia is rooted in some sort of fear, most commonly the fear of being rejected by another person. Commitment phobia can also be caused by a combinations of fears, like making the wrong choice or undergoing any type of long-term change.
A commitment phobic person is not only lax in the area of personal relationships. The commitment-phobe finds it difficult to commit in many areas of life, including home selection, job options, shopping and even smaller everyday decisions. The problem here is that a person with commitment phobia views all or most of the decisions they make in life as permanent.
Commitment phobia is usually associated with relationship issues because that is where it becomes most apparent. But a commitment phobic person does not avoid long-term partnerships because they want to be alone. In fact, a person with commitment phobia wants the same things as anyone else: romantic connection, love and security. They run away from these things, however, because they fear them at the same time as they desire them. Confusing, right?
This crisscrossing of fear and desire can wreak havoc on a person's mind, as they try to work out how they could be afraid of something they really want and how they can want something that ultimately scares the heck out of them. And that is why phobias are a form of mental illness, because they are all in the head.
That is not to say that a phobia is imaginary. Most phobias have causes, although this can sometimes be difficult to determine. Commitment phobia is often found in people who suffered some type of great loss or trauma early on in life. Abuse and lack of good role models can also lead to a person becoming commitment phobic.
The behavior of a person with commitment phobia does not just leave them single all their life. A true commitment-phobe can do seriously damaging things, like end a perfectly good relationship for no reason or up and walk out on their job one day. This can leave them in a bad life situation that can snowball into other areas.
The best way to treat commitment phobia is through therapy, in which the person and their therapist work together to figure out why they are afraid of commitment and teach them how to think more rationally.